Herb Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce & Maybe I'm not Ready to Make Nice

Herb Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce

Inside Summer Rolls

This was a test drive for Tuesdays Class. I didn't have all the ingredients so some things were altered slightly. I used pumpkin seeds instead of peanuts (still really good!) and I didn't have as many fresh herbs as I will Tuesday for class. Also, in class our dipping sauce will be different: Hoisin Sauce, Curry Paste, Water & PB. Hoisin Sauce is not something I would personally use though. Super sweet--which makes me hope/think they will like it!

Click Here for Recipe!

For dinners this week I was inspired by one of the blogs I read: Oh She Glows and decided to make different versions of Portabella Pizzas all week! Mine didn't turn out as pretty as hers but they were delicious & filling.

Portabella Mushroom Pizza

Portabella Mushroom Pizza:
  • 1 Portabella Mushroom, remove stem
  • 1/4 cup Roa's Marinara sauce, seperated
  • 1 Tablespoon Vegan Cashew Basil Cheese Sauce (I used 1/4 cup Basil)
  • Any veggies on hand! 
Tonight I used Squash, Onions & Red Bell Pepper.  As you can see I first put it on the grill, but it was taking too long, so I then moved it inside and broiled it for 8 minutes. It made it nice and crispy.

For dessert I used my second jar of almost empty nut butter of the day (first was used to make peanut sauce this afternoon) to make tasty treat!

Dessert: My Take on Oats 'n a Jar
**Disclaimer: Oats in a Jar is a very common dessert & all pictures look like that. A said it looked gross...
  • 1 Tablespoon Sunbutter
  • 1 square Unsweetened Chocolate
  • 1/4 cup 2% Fage Plain Yogurt
  • 2 T Oats, dry 
Melt Chocolate & Sunbutter for 30 seconds and stir. Add in yogurt & oats! Yum! 

So anyone that actually get this far into the post is someone that is genuinely interested in what I have to say--not really sure why?

Recently, I've been struggling with trying to figure out my place in life. We all have doubts, but to be honest I'm not sure I ever really thought that much about faith or believing in God. It was just something I did or was told to do. If I didn't wake up Sunday morning for Church--grounded the next Saturday night (never happened, just a threat). I always hated Church, but once it was gone I really missed it. But, what I missed was the community and our family snickering sessions and the lunches we prepared afterwards. Yeah, so I got a catch in my throat & tears in my eyes during last weeks Lift High the Cross processional. So what? Was that really something in relation to God or was that just us having a good time and being together?

I've heard so many stories and sermons about God's presences--stories where you could pinpoint it & say this part of the sermon was God. N's good ole story about the light blinking, Sister's random and generous gift of a car and too many to name. But, all I ever heard about myself was how I said "God messed up" and I was three.

E says you are supposed to let go, give up and realize you can't be in control. Well I just don't know if I can do that. Of course, I see God in so many different moments in life, but I made those moments happen..right? I'm the one that makes these choices to run, do yoga, cook, be upset, be happy and when to go to bed at night. So, how can I just throw all that out the window and let someone else take control & give up? That just sounds impossible--could I possibly be being too literal? But, that is who I am. I need to see, feel & touch to believe (at least I'm not the only one..Thanks Thomas)

E said happiness isn't the right thing to ask for. I've been thinking all this over and trying to figure out what it is like to "talk" to God. So, tonight as I was sprawled out on my sweating yoga mat in a room heated to 105, I decided to give it a whirl. I started thinking, asking, questioning, asking for peace & freedom of my past hang ups. I said I was ready to grab back on, give this whole faith thing a go again.

I just kept thinking, questioning and asking for the peace. Finally I came to and realized I'd been sitting there completely still...peacefully. My nose didn't itch, I didn't wipe the sweat from my eyes & I didn't get up scurry out of the room like I normally do. I just laid there and then I moved--I smiled. I couldn't believe how silly, easy and obvious it all was. Of course I'm not alone. Of course I'm not really in charge. If I was in charge I would have run out of that room as soon as I heard the words namaste. Now that is exactly what I was looking for: I could see, feel & touch it in my own way. It worked.

Maybe all this is a little too much for a silly blog, but I wanted to say it. And, finally for the moving on part this is what Pandora(or God??) gave me tonight:

Not sure what to make of that yet, but the words are quite telling.

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

1 comment:

  1. I read to the very end, and I'm sure many others did, too, BBG. You will find, in the Magical World of Blog, that more people read than comment.

    Very, very good story. I have had similar difficulty, all my life, with figuring out exactly how much "control" is God's, and how much is of my own making.

    Do you know when my epiphany was? During a riding lesson! As you may know, I didn't start riding horses until I was 33 and my daughter was 6 (I used HER as an excuse to do something I'd always dreamed of, but my parents couldn't afford a horse, and Mom was terrified I'd get killed anyway...)

    So. Anyway, one day our stable owner announced that a VERY famous clinician was coming, and we could sign up for a private lesson. This woman had written books about "centered riding," and I just had to meet her. The two hours cost quite a bit, but it was worth it for this ONE visual image she gave about how to hold the reins.

    "Pretend you are holding fragile, small birds cupped in your palms. If you clutch and squeeze them too tightly, they will die; if you hold them too loosely, they will fly away."

    EUREKAAAAAA! I almost fell off the saddle, I was so excited. It seemed an excellent metaphor for one's interaction with God. Get all controlly and bossy and "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY" about life, and things inevitably go wrong...on the other hand, shrug, give up, and sigh, "Well, it's all in God's hands" and things can go badly too---we do have some responsibility, after all. Striking that perfect equilibrium is a daily, hourly, minute-ly task...and not always easy.

    Basically, I think we should have faith in God, but still wear a seat belt and take our vitamins!:):)

    Thanks for letting me ramble. I'd love to hear others' thoughts on this...you've started a good topic.

    And the food looks fab.